My Lying Liar Child

We could make these memes all day! Kids come up with the most obvious lies they can come up with it feels like sometimes. Here are a few lies the kids have said!

It’s Mother's Day and we can cry if we want to.

Mother’s Day can be challenging for most! It’s hard to be pleasant all day long and try to get that relaxing in we were promised. It’s hard but it can be fun. Dancing, naps, bubble baths, long walks, and cake, always cake make for a fun day! Remember you are doing your best and you can always laugh or cry at the craziness of Motherhood! Happy Mother’s Day.

Mother's Day Coupons

We all deserve endless foot rubs, hugs, naps, and chores sans whining. We created a Free Download of coupons you can print out and have the kids fill out! Bring on breakfast in bed and all the chocolate this Mother’s Day complete with a coupon book filled with life’s simple pleasures.

Click on one of the photos to get your free download of six different coupons. Let’s make sure you get pampered this year!

All About Mom

It is almost Mother’s Day! Get ready for macaroni necklaces and poems about how much your kids love you! We LOVE to hear what the kiddos have to say about their Mamas so we have created a Free Download for your kids to fill out and tell us ALL ABOUT MOM! Click the picture below to get your questionnaire! We can’t wait to see what your kids have to say.

Best Mother's Day Letters

Sweet Mother’s Day letters and notes can melt a Mama’s heart but we aren’t initiated into true Motherhood until your kid comes home with a note telling you they want a new Mom or you smell like poop! Here is some of our favorite notes we have collected about all the wonderful Moms out there! Also, I included Mr. T’s Mother’s Day song. It doesn’t get any better! “Here’s to every wrinkle I put on your face…”

Wishing you all a wonderful Mother’s Day and hopefully your cards this year will tell you how pretty, wonderful, nice, kind, thoughtful, and how selfless you are! You are amazing and it’s OK to take a nap, you deserve it!

The Stuff of Easter Bunny Pictures

Pictures with the Easter Bunny are the cutest thing since chocolate-covered marshmallow Peeps. Mom and Dad stood in line for pictures with Santa; why not for an Easter photoshoot, too?

I’ll tell you why: the Easter Bunny is scary. Don’t get me wrong -we had a neighborhood Easter egg hunt recently with Easter Bunny photo ops. All the kids lined up. My kids, meanwhile, did not. They were remembering a few photos I found online…

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Yes, children, when the Easter Bunny comes, run away. Just run faster than your parents, who really want that touching Easter bunny picture for the family photo album.

Quick and Easy Easter Centerpieces

By Chelsea Owens, Guest Writer


Yesterday as I picked up some (more) Easter candy and Easter egg fillers, I realized I didn’t have an Easter centerpiece. Oh, I have plenty of speckled eggs and Easter grass lying around the house as Easter decorations. They even look somewhat decorative.

Thanks to having kids and those kids having Spring Break, however, I’m short a centerpiece. I always have the kids, so I didn’t go looking for any old thing to slap in the middle of my table. I went looking for easy Easter centerpieces.

When there are dishes to wash, laundry to fold, -nevermind; that list could go on forever. Point is, Peter Cottontail’s coming down the bunny trail faster than I can eat a whole bag of Cadbury eggs. (And I can eat chocolate eggs faster than I want to fold socks.) When I want to make Easter crafts, it’s going to be easy or it’s not happening.

The first idea I came across is adorable AND easy. Did I mention I love easy? You may think you’re putting all your eggs in one basket with this idea, because you are. All you’re doing is finding a cute metal basket and filling it with Easter grass and Easter eggs. Choose whatever shade of grass and eggs fit your mood, budget, or decor.

I may spend most of my days in The Neverending Story of housework, but even I’ve noticed that cactuses and cacti are a hot decorating item right now. So, why not have an Easter cactus decoration? I’m totally for real, and I think this can be pulled off with a quick paint job. Either that, or you can buy some premade cactus’s and sprinkle them into Easter grass.

The next ideas I found center around a glass vase. I find glass vases and hurricane jars all over secondhand shops and Goodwill and they are an obviously quick and easy Easter decorations idea. Just look at these: they all involve dumping Easter stuff into a vase.

Did I mention apothecary jars? You bet I did! Those and glass goblets are even better than a vase if you want your home decorations to look fancier than they really are. They’re the best decorating secret I know besides buying crafts pre-made.

Second only to my jars and vases are cake plates and cake platters. Armed with Easter eggs, grass, an Easter Bunny, or maybe a nest; any crafter can make a centerpiece that looks like Joanna Gaines made it. All you need are materials and a glue gun.

Hopefully, there isn’t a best-dressed Easter centerpiece contest in my neighborhood. If there is, at least I’m sure to win a prize for most hot glue used. Now, on to that laundry and Easter candy…

Chelsea enjoys writing, reading, eating, sleeping, and living vicariously through others' stories. Since she is a mother full time, sometimes she gets to do those things.

Eggcellent Easter Basket Ideas for Everyone

By Chelsea Owens, Guest Writer

Looking for the best Easter basket ideas for girls, Easter basket ideas for boys, and even Easter basket ideas for teenagers? Never fear; we have them all! In fact, we even found a couple Easter basket ideas for guys.

Let’s start at the beginning. Do you know an expectant mother or do you have a newborn baby you simply must spoil? A Baby’s First Easter Basket sounds in order to me:

What about toddlers? Since you don’t want too many Easter treats for those hyperactive darlings, try this Easter basket without candy option. It has yogurt bites, veggie puffs, and Little People friends.

Perhaps you’re blessed with a little one who loves PJ Masks. Take a hint from this design and throw in some Gecko, Owlette, or Catboy candies and chocolates. Did you even know there were PJ Masks Easter candy?

Moving up in age and interests brings us to unicorns. What little girl doesn’t want a unicorn Easter basket? Throw in some rainbows, a unicorn figurine, and some magic and you’re good to go.

Of course, most kids have a variety of interests. I like how tasteful this assorted basket is with its doll, book, crayons, and fabric wand.

But let’s not forget how cool an Avengers Easter basket would be. Wait -not a basket; this epic collection of Avengers toys and gear is stuffed in a reusable bucket.

Personally, I’m fond of going outside the basket for Easter ideas. This basket-free Easter basket is one of the most clever ideas I’ve seen. Not only did they use kids rain boots, but they stuffed in a few outside toys like pinwheels, shovels, rakes, and seeds.

Okay, okay: this is my last non-basket Easter basket idea ...for kids, anyway. It’s an adorable wagon, complete with candy and a few plastic gardening tools.

Another option on our list of candy-free ideas is to go with a basket of art supplies: bathtub finger paint, paint by numbers, markers, clay, and bubbles.

Maybe you’ve entered the teenage years. Your young man may be too old for egg hunts, but you and he still want a basket of sorts. That’s why this Easter basket for teens is perfect. It’s a baseball cap stuffed with favorites like beef jerky and Pringles chips.

Need another Easter basket for teenagers? Go with a sports ball bag stuffed with accessories. He’s going to beg for XBox game upgrades and pizza anyway; why not gift them in the name of Easter?

Now, how ‘bout a little something for the husband or boyfriend? You’re not the first to want to show him some Easter lovin’ with an Easter basket for guys. This basket is even made of tools. Hey! It counts for Easter!

Last but best is an Easter basket for ladies. Personally, I’d like a basket with a coupon for a week off, but I’ll take a spa package from the Easter Bunny as well.

Easter baskets for the whole family seem like a big deal; but, with these ideas, you’ll have one for everyone faster than you can eat the ears off a chocolate bunny.



Chelsea enjoys writing, reading, eating, sleeping, and living vicariously through others' stories. Since she is a mother full time, sometimes she gets to do those things.

15 Easter Fails that Nailed It

By Chelsea Owens, Guest Writer

Easter’s right around the corner, and Pinterest is hopping with cute craft ideas and easy Easter recipes. If you’re anything like me, though, you’re remembering the Pinterest fails of last year: the Bunny Peep meltdowns, marbled egg murders, and Easter cake mayhem.

Before you throw in the Easter-themed towel, take a look at all the others who share your Easter fail pain:

Thank goodness for stores with pre-made Easter cakes and Easter craft ideas. Someone’s got to have your back when you think you nailed it ...but didn’t.

Chelsea enjoys writing, reading, eating, sleeping, and living vicariously through others' stories. Since she is a mother full time, sometimes she gets to do those things.

10 Actually Easy Easter Crafts for Kids

By Chelsea Owens, Guest Writer

Easter craft ideas often raise stress-levels. I’m all for Easter decorations and Easter crafts for kids, but not when I have an Easter bunny-sized mess to clean up afterwards. Have any of those mommy bloggers actually put glitter all over an egg? It’s not as pretty as it looks in the end.

That’s why I skipped right over “Glitter Eggs in Minutes” and even “Bunny Ear Headbands.” Too. much. Work. Instead, I found ten ideas I guarantee to be quick, easy, and still adorable.

First are these bunny bum planters. They look fancy, but are the short work of a few pom-poms and a glue gun. You can finish up the feet with a fabric marker. The messiest part will be dirt and flowers; the best part will be the, “Oooh” and “Aaah,” and “Oh! How cute!” of all your friends.

Grab a stamp pad and a few fingers for this next one. It’s a fingerprint Easter bunny and spring chicks! Just add legs, whiskers, and facial features with a permanent marker and you’re done! These cute little critters would be perfect for a teacher present, birthday party invitation, or card for grandma.

Easter bunnies mean carrots, right? But who wants real carrots? This paper cone carrot craft produces cute candy containers.

Do you need an Easter garland to complete your Easter decorations? This easy craft idea hopped out to me for two reasons:
1. I can’t cut a circle with scissors, but I can do an egg.
2. My kids steal hundreds of these paint sample swatches from the hardware store.

Another Easter decoration idea is candy jars. Frankly, stencilling bunny outlines looked like too much work, so I went for a glue gun approach. If you want to make some, pop over to a cheap store and buy some tiny plastic or ceramic bunnies. After paint and glue, no one will know which fancy store you got them from.

Easter always means Easter eggs, but that doesn’t need to be plastic or hard-boiled. Straws can work, too; especially when they’re the cute patterned ones. Who doesn’t want a paper straw Easter egg?

Another thing we have a lot of is baking cups. If you make these muffin wrapper flowers with your kids, you can use them up without making messy cupcakes instead.

Are you looking for more Easter chick craft ideas? I like these finger puppets. They’ll need googly eyes, paper, feathers, holes, and fingers. They also work really well as an Easter craft for preschoolers.

I was all over this idea once I saw that it was a messless way to paint. Your kids can decorate their egg or other Easter cutout and you won’t find paint exactly where you don’t want to.

My last idea is another candy jar craft idea. The faces can come from stickers, glued pom-poms, or paint. What makes it work is which candy you choose for fill.

Easter decorating and Easter craft ideas can be pain-free. I promise. And, they can still be cute enough that no one will suspect how much hot glue you actually used.



Chelsea enjoys writing, reading, eating, sleeping, and living vicariously through others' stories. Since she is a mother full time, sometimes she gets to do those things.

When getting kids to do chores is the worst

Kids have been trying to get out of doing chores for almost as long as parents have. If you are a parent; you’ve probably tried job charts, incentives, allowance, computer time, threats, and ...consequences.

No matter what we parents try, our kids will always give us a surprised look. They will always try to get out of doing chores. They will always need a few reminders to get back on task. And, we will always find commiserating parents who post exactly what we feel:

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We may not get the kids to do their chores, finish their homework, or earn that allowance; but we’ll keep trying. Teaching kids responsibility with chores is important for their future. If all else fails, at least we can try that Dobby sock trick and get some quality alone time.

All the reasons to love Easter

Winter is finally melting away into spring, and that means Easter! Not only will there be Easter egg hunts and Easter Bunny photo ops, but there is sure to be plenty of Easter candy everywhere. Go dig out your baskets, bonnets, spring dresses, and plastic grass; we’re ready to hop into the Easter season!


I mean, just look at this festive sale:


Speaking of eggs, aren’t your kids anxious to get cracking?


They look eggcited to me…

Like I said, though, the best things at Easter come in wrapped packages. Am I right?

Honestly, I’m not picky.

I keep to a strict diet.

For the kids.

No, I don’t have a problem.

I have a peanut butter friend.

Until, that is, we finally say, “Goodbye.”

Don’t worry; the only thing better than Easter egg hunts and Cadbury eggs on Easter is after holiday sales. Pick up a few egg-decorating kits and plush bunnies for the kiddos, plus a few cases of chocolate eggs for yourself. It’s worth the egg-stra effort.

Screaming Kids? I've Got a Music Playlist for That

By Chelsea Owens, Guest Writer

Nothing puts the icing on the parenting cake quite like a screaming child. Whether in the car, at the store, or anytime the child feels like it; The Scream is The Worst.

What’s a parent to do? Duct tape is tempting, but not feasible. You’d never get it off your ears without some pain, and it wouldn’t cancel out enough noise to make the hair loss worth it.


Instead, what about music? At our house we listen to so many different songs that I have a playlist for nearly every situation. That’s why I’ve got your back when the screams start. I not only included a few obligatory ‘calm the kids down’ tunes, but also threw in some that will harmonize with the screaming. And just ‘cause I’m nice, I finished with songs that are so awesome you won’t notice the screaming for a few ...seconds, at least.


Calm Songs (For the Kids)
First, I always start with my favorite Classical pieces. These range from Mozart to Chopin to Weezer. And, thanks to the heavenly blessing of YouTube, I can pop a ready-made playlist on as soon as it’s needed:

You may have noticed one of those things is not like the others in my first suggestion. This is because I never tie myself down to any style or genre of music. If you and yours like Weezer, The Piano Guys, or The Plain White T’s; my second suggestion is to play what works.

The recommended tune I include, here, is the playlist that consistently put my second child to sleep every time we got in the car: the soundtrack for the film Edward Scissorhands.

My last calm songs idea is a bit of a mashup of the two before. The artist calls himself Caspar Babypants. Trendy, hip parents may recognize him from the 90s band The President of the United States of America.

Caspar Babypants started composing songs for young children when he, himself, became a parent and saw what was out there. Thank goodness he did, too!

Screaming Songs (To Harmonize)

As funny as it sounds, I find stress relief in giving into the moment and becoming one with The Scream. Since my doctor suggested my headaches and sore throat might decrease if I avoid screaming myself, I instead turn to singers who do it for me.

For full-on screams (or yells), the most tolerable choice is “Immigrant Song” by Led Zeppelin:

Another great classic rock option is one that became my favorite after Matthew Morrison and Neil Patrick Harris took it on during an episode of “Glee.” As gorgeous as those two are, they still can’t reach the screaminess that is Steven Tyler.

When the kids get high-pitched and I need a commiserating harmony, I skip to the end:

Last but not least is my oldest son’s go-to whenever I become the screamer. Not that it helps, but he always gets us laughing when he turns it on.
Because; really, can you not laugh when 10 hours of screaming goat is playing?

Awesome Distracting Songs (For Everybody)

This is the part of the list where you can insert your own ideas. Maybe your family swings to Christian Rock for inspiration. Maybe you’re more partial to electric grunge. Or, you could have a favorite based on what pitch your child screams at.

Our family enjoys everything from Beethoven to heavily-edited Eminem. I also recognize the effect that music has on people and houseplants, and therefore try to keep our awesome songs playlists limited to ones with positive messages and tones.

In light of that, the first of my three suggestions is “Can’t Stop the Feeling,” by Justin Timberlake. Even if you’re still sick of it, you can search for other songs like it.

Really, the best way to distract a screamer and his or her audience is to put on something you can dance to. Timberlake’s song is great for that, as are many others. When I asked around my mom’s group for their favorite, two of them also mentioned Fitz and the Tantrums’ “Hand Clap.”

In the end, the very best thing I can do for the child and myself is to distract with a funny video. After trying snacks, naps, and duct tape; my number one song choices for watching are OK Go’s amazing compilations. I don’t know how many times the band has to record them, but the end results are mesmerizing.

The songs aren’t half-bad, either.

Parenting isn’t for the faint of heart, but it also doesn’t need to make you dependent on ear plugs. Next time your little darling starts practicing angry opera, whip one of these songs out. You and everyone within earshot just might start dancing, instead.

After all, a dancing child is better than a screaming one any day.

Chelsea enjoys writing, reading, eating, sleeping, and living vicariously through others' stories. Since she is a mother full time, sometimes she gets to do those things.

12 Fun and Easy Cabin Fever Fixes

By Chelsea Owens, Guest Writer

Whenever my kids are home for spring break, summer vacation, or winter break; I have a ton of ideas for quick, fun activities for kids to do at home. The problem is that I run through every one of them within an hour. By the first day, we all have cabin fever. “I’m bored,” each of them whines, as if the parent passed out on the couch has good ideas.

What’s a mom or dad to do when we need indoor play ideas; when all the kids are bored and scrabbling up the walls instead of turning to crafts, games, and educational activities?

Why, turn to Instagram, of course.

Unless you’re home for a snow day, you can always kick the kids outside. They’re sure to find something productive to do that won’t hamper your ability to see or anything.

Or… one of my fall-backs is a trip to the store. It’s like an indoor sports facility, but free. The kids can even practice human curling:

Then again, it might be time for a family vacation. Kids love that kind of thing.

If that won’t work because of money or money, staycations are popular. Make your home like the tiny airplane or hotel room you’d stay in, and the kids will love it.

All right, all right. We’ll do some crafts. Kids love crafts, like painting.

And markers.

And some of those fun activities you can do with food.

Maybe it’s time for a few games.

Something fun for everyone that doesn’t involve a lot of supplies.

It might be time for games that involve exercise.

For the kids.

That’s it. It’s time for the electronic babysitter to take over. But don’t worry; even movies can be educational.

Whether you choose a family staycation, easy craft, or cheap activity for kids; boredom doesn’t need to be the only option when cabin fever strikes. Keep things entertaining and fun for everyone this break, and you just might all survive and be happy.

Chelsea Owens enjoys writing, reading, eating, sleeping, and living vicariously through others' stories. Since she is a mother full time, sometimes she gets to do those things.

https://ididntwanttobeamother.com

Get festive! All the heart eyes for everything Valentines

After the longest January ever, right?

I am so looking forward to fun, cheesy Valentine decor!

Gimme me all the hearts, candy, Valentine parties, and more! Whether you go all out or have a few decorations, this holiday always has been a favorite of mine. There has been a few years that I let it slide by without making sure I had something festive to wear or barely remembered to get my kids’ valentines sent to school. Those years were, admittedly, never as memorable or fun!

I always remember the fun years that we had a party, made cookies, or that really great year I went all out on my son’s Valentine box. He had the best Thomas the Train Valentine box ever. Man, I should have saved it! It took forever to make but I always think back on how fun it was.

So here’s to being fun and festive this year with these fun things we found to step up your festiveness:

(some photos may include affiliate links)

Ideas for Starting your Own Christmas Traditions

By Maren A. Lam, guest contributor

"I have never had a Christmas like this before," my husband, Fred, told me while we spent our first Christmas together at my parents' place in Missouri. 

The night before, my dad read the Nativity story from the Bible to us. Thanks to my mom, we always had homemade meals and sweets. All of my siblings were there and added with 4 of my nieces and nephews, a lot of energy was under one roof. Apart from my teenage brother gift wrapping empty cereal boxes to bulk up the loot under the Christmas tree, things seemed pretty normal to me. 

Two years later, we spent the holidays with Fred's family in California. It was my first Christmas without my own family and I realized that each family has their own traditions even at Christmas time. We split our time between Fred’s dad and mom. His dad took us out to eat and then we spent the rest of the day with his mother's family at his grandma's house. People played games and socialized as we showed off our then-5-month-old baby boy. There was not a Christmas tree, we didn’t take turns unwrapping presents, and it wasn't a white Christmas. However, it still felt like Christmas. I believe the main reason it did is because we were spending time with family.

This will be our first Christmas on our own—that is Fred, two year old Calvin, baby Alex, and me. So I really want to do whatever I can to make the season feel special and start our own Lam family traditions. Here are my ideas for starting your own Christmas traditions: 

1. Christmas traditions don't have to be Christmas-y

Take your family to do something really fun. Fred and I are children at heart so we plan to go to an indoor water park on Christmas Eve (I don’t think our toddler will mind!). Don’t have an indoor water park? Go bowling, rollerblading, or to the arcade.

Or if you are trying to do something with a bigger group, do a lip syncing competition. I know a family that does a lip sync battle at Christmas and they have a riot. Christmas songs are rarely done and everyone unleashes their inner pop star. 

2. Yummy food

Food is a great way to start your own family traditions. For example, my sister feeds her family beans and rice every Christmas dinner. This started out of necessity when money was tight as a newlywed. She adds more substance to the dish these days, but it is a good way for her and her husband to reminisce. A lot of families I know do homemade cinnamon rolls. I don’t have much talent in the kitchen so I’m going to keep things simple, but still delicious, with German pancakes for breakfast.

3. Keep it local

There are so many festive activities to do for families in metropolitan areas this time of year. Many of these are free, which I love. Christmas lights, parades, sitting on Santa's lap, holiday parties, etc. I have made a calendar of events I want to go to this year and the ones I love will make the cut for next year. Even if you don’t live in a place with a lot of holiday events, taking a drive to see neighborhood Christmas lights is always fun. 

4. Evaluate your Christmas list

Gifts are fun to give to your kids but it is really a hassle to buy everyone else something. Do we really need to buy every adult family member something that they may or may not like? Try to scale it back if you can. My siblings and I do a gift rotation and there is a twenty dollar cap. It has really made Christmas shopping easier.

5. Teach

While gifts are fun, I want to teach my children how wonderful it is to give. One year, an unknown angel knocked on our door and fled, leaving behind a $100 Walmart gift card. We still don’t know who did it but I have always remembered it. I hope to start paying it forward now with my family. If you need ideas, justserve.com is a great resource for finding ways to volunteer in your community.

I don’t know if all of these ideas will become our family traditions, but we are going to make memories trying. Whatever you decide to do for your family’s traditions is sure to be special because you will be doing it with the ones you love.